It was a suggestion by my partner that I try a chiropractor. I didn’t really have a lot to lose by this point so I made appointment at my local chiropractors. My first appointment consisted of x-rays which showed both my spine and pelvis were out of alignment. On top of this, because I’d had trouble walking for so long, that the muscles in my legs had atrophied. That was pretty upsetting to hear. When I say upsetting, I mean I absolutely sobbed all night. Nevertheless, after only three sessions I was able to sleep through the night and after three weeks (or three sessions a week) the pain disappeared completely. I was able to start walking again, though I couldn’t even manage five minutes at first. I still had limited flexibility, particularly on the left side, and some stiffness in my lower back, but gradually over the next 6 months this improved considerably, and I managed to start singing again. Initially, I still struggled with support and breathing, to the point that I would get light-headed on sustained phrases, and boy was it knackering. Regardless I continued, doing seven productions over a twelve-month period, went back to work, and managed to finish college with a distinction no less.
My problems weren’t entirely over, I still suffer from terrible cramp in my left leg, I think as a result of the muscle wastage, though it’s getting less problematic as my fitness improves and I rebuild the muscle. I also had to deal with anxiety over leaving the house and even dealing with my workload. As much as it sucked being stuck in the house there was also a sense of relief of not having any responsibility. After years of working six or even seven days a week, not having to worry about anything except my heath was a little liberating, even as the pain and the lack of surety of my future brought me back down. Suddenly dealing with a lot of singing work was a bit of a shock, not to mention finishing college, and two part-time jobs and I definitely struggled with my mental health.
I’m pleased to say though, a little over a year later and things are looking a lot better. To say this has been a tough would be like saying Brexit isn’t quite running smoothly, and while I still have to look after myself (and don’t we all), I’ve danced, been pushed around, thrown to the floor, behaved like a drunken harlot and even done the can-can (ok I know I’ve already mentioned dancing but I feel this particular one deserves a special mention) with no problem. I couldn’t have imagined that last year and seeing what I have manage to achieve in that period is incredible and I’m incredibly grateful to the family, friends and health professionals who helped me deal with it, and ultimately recover.
It hasn’t been easy writing about this, but as I said at the beginning of this endeavor, hearing about obstacles, problems, illness and injury other singers have gone through and overcome really gives you hope. It’s truly inspiring, and whilst I know that not everyone is fortunate enough to have an ending like I have, I hope that by being open about my struggles will help someone else overcome there’s. Or at the very least feel less alone.
If you are struggling here are some links to organisations that can give you support: